Monday, August 13, 2012

Day Four: Albuquerque, NM



  Having now driven through the absolutely most boring part of the country, I can rest a little easier. I swear to you, that drive from Oklahoma through Texas and through New Mexico is the flattest, brownest, dullest part of the country. It just goes on and on for hours. They need to install some interesting works of art or something along I-40. It's bad when you're wishing for billboards to read.
  But now I'm here in Albuquerque, the home town, and staying with Mom. There was steak, baked potatoes, corn and margaritas last night. What a homecoming! I'm taking an extra day here to rest up before completing the last 800 miles of this journey. Believe me, it's a much needed rest. Plus, where else are you going to wake up to sunrises like the one above?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Day Three: Oklahoma City, OK


  Today was a shorter day, but much more interesting! The scenery got a lot duller, but I saw three separate fires! Now, let me preface this by saying I have probably counted at least fifteen car-fire spots on the road since I left DC. So, when I came over a hill midway through the day and saw this-


  I thought I would be seeing a car fire in action. I was wrong. Instead, I saw this-


  A massive grass fire! It was so hot, I could feel it inside the cab of the truck. About thirty minutes later, I saw another fire off in the distance, billowing black smoke. About twenty minutes after that, another grass fire in the median of the highway. No wonder there were so many "Burn Ban" signs.
  After I checked into my hotel, I was able to meet up with my old friend Heath, and we went out to dinner and caught up on the last 11 years of our lives. It had been far too long, and we had a lot of laughs.
  Now, I'm off to Albuquerque! It'll be the longest of the drives I have to do, so I'm not really looking forward to it, but it will be nice to see the folks!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Day Two: Little Rock, AR


  Today, even though it was the same length drive as yesterday, seemed to go by faster. I spent the first half of the day driving through heavy rain, thick fog, and wind, but not so severe as the day before. The countryside, though, was gorgeous. There were lazy rivers winding through canyons, steaming in the morning air. There were lush, tree covered mountains poking out of the fog, earning their "smokey mountain" moniker.
  The last time I was in any part of Tennessee was 1994, so it was cool to drive through Nashville and Memphis. I waved to Elvis. Tonght I am in Arkansas, which I haven't visited since 1995. Unbelievable. Also unbelievable is this rotten hotel that I'm staying in. First bad one I've picked so far. They allow pets here, so I've had to listen to howling and barking from dogs left alone in rooms. I've heard screaming babies, and the people upstairs doing God-knows-what as I wonder if the ceiling might actually come down from the pounding. There was a sign that said "game room" as I walked in, so I peeked my head in. There was one old, faded arcade machine- "Mortal Kombat II" and one of those claw grabber machines with literally two stuffed animals inside. Wow. Let's all put our fun-hats on and go to the game room.
  So, I'm out of this dump and headed tomorrow to Oklahoma City. It's sad that the beautiful scenery will now be replaced with a flat, brown, cow-shit smelling landscape. Slightly shorter drive, though. Hooray!

Day One: Knoxville, TN


  So as part of my coast to coast drive (see previous post) I was going to video blog each day. I had put together this nice little animated intro, and I was going to sit down at the end of the day and recap what happened with pictures and video- you know, chronicle the journey. Well, after driving the first eight hours yesterday (Springfield, VA to Knoxville, TN, I decided it probably wasn't going to be as interesting as I thought. So, instead of video and pictures, I'll just write a few words.
  There wasn't a whole lot to see. Luckily, this part of the drive is at least somewhat scenic. There are trees, mountains, greenery. There are rustic barns and old tin roof buildings that look like they're pre-Civil War. I saw a gun shop next to the interstate, painted in the colors of the flag. It had a huge sign on the side that said "Jesus is Lord." Not too sure what Jesus has to do with guns. I also saw a beat up old pickup with a Confederate flag on the back. In the middle of the flag were the words "Git 'er Done." I don't think it could have been more stereotypically redneck.
  The most exciting part of the day was when I encountered a very strong storm. The rain was coming down so hard I could barely see the road. When the wind whipped up, it nearly blew me and my huge flat-sided truck right into the ditch. It was kinda exciting for a little while. Ultimately, no harm, no foul.
  So, that's it. Today, I'm on my way to Little Rock, AR.

  On the road again...

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Coast to Coast



  Today, I start a 2,700 mile drive across the US. "Why, for God's sake?" you might ask. Well, I'm finally able to move all my worldly posessions from here in Springfield, VA to my new place in California. I've rented a Big-Ass Truck© and packed it full. Now, it's road, road, road. I have a plan to make a little video at the end of each day, sort of video-blogging as I go. We'll see if I'm coherent enough to manage that.

  And with that, I'm out the door!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Beach Shoot



  Meant to get these shots up earlier, but things have been very busy! They're from a lifestyle photoshoot in Santa Monica by sharpshooter Judy Wang. Good times!







Monday, June 25, 2012

Bullshit Revisionism


  Yep, I'm on my high horse again, with a simple message:

  LEAVE YOUR SHIT ALONE, ARTISTS.

  Why so angry? Why so sweary? Because I just learned (a little late, mind you) that one of my most treasured childhood books has been creatively neutered by its publisher.
  The book in question is Alvin Schwartz's "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark." This was a fantastic book of truly horrifying tales that hit shelves back in 1981. I remember discovering it on the shelves of my elementary school library and going crazy over it. The stories were gruesome, yes, but even more so the illustrations by Stephen Gammell. Their sinewy, drippy, stringy inks are something I can still vividly picture. Gammell absolutely mastered the feel of this book, and made it something that, to quote the folks at adventuresinpoortaste.com, made kids "learn that books can make you shit your pants."
  Well, the publishers, to celebrate the book's 30th anniversary last year (told ya I'm late to this) released all three volumes of Scary Stories in one big book. Awesome, but they also removed Gammell's masterwork and replaced it with crappy, cartoony illustrations from Brett Helquist. Helquist, who did the illustrations for "A Series of Unfortunate Events," completely misses the mark here and effectively ruins what was a fantastic trip into the macabre. Yes, Helquist is a fine artist, but not for this particular volume. Here are just a couple of examples (click to enlarge):





  You can clearly see why that face would launch a thousand nightmares. I remember turning to that particular page over and over and being amazed at how blood-freezing it was.
   Why the publishers did this switcheroo probably has to do with pressure from whiney parent groups. They've been trying to get this book banned from libraries for years due to its absolutely violent and frightening nature. Duh, parents. It's called SCARY Stories. It's a horror book. You won't find any unicorns in it, or talking chipmunks, or Disney princesses. You will find murder, talking rotten corpses, cannibalism, and a scarecrow that skins somebody alive (Harold, above). I agree, the material is a little heavy for the age range, but guess what? The world is full of scary things. Being frightened and dealing with it is a part of life, and it's a part of growing up. I could write a whole other blog about the wimpification (to put it nicely) of our society, but this is about revisionism of creative works.
  I've been very upset for the last few years at this trend of revisionism. George Lucas is, of course, the biggest offender, if you look at what he's done to Star Wars. Endless, ridiculous tinkering has also ruined what used to be a decent set of films. I used to love a quote from Lucas, which went something like: "An artist never completes anything. He only abandons it." Well, changing and rechanging your work is not abandoning, and it wrecks the experience for the rest of us. Spielberg was also infamously guilty of this with his re-work of E.T. a few years back, but has since realized the error of his ways and claims he will never again alter one of his films. E.T. will now be released in its original cut on Blu-Ray this year. Good on you, Steve. Maybe now you can undo the CGI you added to Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  Bottom line, people, it's art. It should stand for what it was at the time. You will never please everybody with something you create. If you're unhappy with it, make something new. But for the love of all things holy, leave the old works alone.
  Oh, and parent groups- SHUT. UP. Nobody is forcing your child to read this book. If you don't want them to read it, don't let them check it out of the library. Leave the freedom of choice alone for the rest of us who arent frightened by a drawing on a page.