Tuesdays with Brian

  In an attempt to be courteous, I moved my bag and offered the empty Metrorail seat. "There's a seat right here-" and I cut myself off before the word "Ma'am." I wasn't so sure. Feminine, yes, but there was a business suit and short haircut. Sir? No. The face and body were just slightly too feminine to be male. So the rest of the words fell out of my mouth: "There's a seat right here...if you want it."
  Later that night, I was someone's favorite pooch and got scratched behind the ears. Then, I was trying to avoid an overly chatty coworker I despised. After that, I ran into an ex, who realized I was the amazing "one who got away."
  Next, I killed an entire family of Rawandan refugees. I tried to help my little brother straighten out his life. My girlfriend walked in on me banging her sister.
  And then it was time to ride the midnight Metro home. I've christened it the "Chunder Wonder" because it's always full of people on their way home from various downtown bars. The air stinks of alcohol and somebody always throws up. Last night, it was a blonde woman sitting next to her husband. I had my money on her the minute she stumbled in.
  So, yeah. Pretty typical Tuesday night for yours truly.

  I'm loving it.