Cornea Game Hen

  I have a fantastic new recipe to share with you. It's a little something I cooked up last night, and I've been enjoying it every minute since.

INGREDIENTS:

One of your eyes (preferably the one with the best vision)
Four tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 cups diced chicken

PREPARATION:

1. Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat.
2. Go check your laundry while the oil heats.
3. Become distracted and forget about the hot stove.
4. Smell the oil cooking and return to the stove.
5. Scoop the diced chicken into the saucepan.
6. Hold still as the superheated oil pops from contact with chicken, and launches into your eye.
7. Note the searing, white-hot pain as your cornea is instantly cooked.
8. Attempt to open your eye to check your vision. Nerve reflex will keep it shut. While you're waiting for it to reopen, ponder the fact that you might have permanent eye damage.
9. Reflect on your stupidity. Repeat.
10. Let rest overnight.

  The next day, your eye might be a little sore, and your vision somewhat cloudy. This is normal. Enjoy!