Thursday, September 8, 2011

Adventures in GPSing

  Driving home from way downtown this morning, my GPS decided that traffic on the 405 was a bit backed up (I know, I was shocked, too) so I was re-routed. Via the magic of crazy satellite technology, our GPS units have become almost self-aware, and sometimes they frighten me. I was taken on such a ridiculous route, that sometimes I wondered if the thing was just messing with my head. How much should we trust these damned things? Will they take over the planet one day? Here's a typical drive home for me:

GPS: Keep right ahead.
ME: But the freeway is to the left. That's strange.
GPS: Now, turn right, then turn immediate left.
ME: Uh, okay. This is a residential area. Sure the freeway's not faster?
GPS: Turn right in 20 feet, then-
ME: That's a parking lot.
GPS: Please don't interrupt me when I'm speaking.
ME: Uh...okay.
GPS: Continue through the parking lot and enter the Arby's drive through. You look hungry.
ME: Actually, I just ate.
GPS: Arby's.
ME: Okay. Uh, do you want anything?
GPS: I'm a GPS, moron. After you finish your curly fries, turn left and proceed through the field for one quarter mile, then turn right.
ME: Pretty sure that's just illegal.
GPS: Do you want to get home or not?

  Technology, people. Be cautious.


  1. Remember that time your GPS took you to a bathhouse and you were like, "But I'm not really a gay man..."

    BTW, did switching it over to a woman's voice actually help like you thought it might? You gotta just learn to say no.

  2. Wuddn't my voice. My GPS though, so of course it has food on the brain. DUH...

  3. Your first problem is you're trying to talk to your GPS. Just surrender and be it's bitch like the rest of us :)