Sunday, January 31, 2010

Closing and Opening

  Today is the last day of January, and I will be very glad to see this month pass into history. I wrote an entry here on January 15, where I mentioned what a rough patch of luck I was having. With the exception of finishing classes and having a great final performance, this streak has continued. Now, I try not to be a negative person, and I do count my blessings in life. There are a lot of them. But this past month will go down in my personal history as the longest string of bad luck, ill will, unfortunate circumstance and emotional turbulence I can remember. I spent many a restless night feeling worthless and completely insignificant.
  I won't go into all the things that made it so. This is not a forum to bare my soul. Suffice it say, the last week of this dread January went out in the same style it came in. I started the week by getting myself in a giant mess of trouble with my employer, damaging my good reputation, and ended the week coming extremely close to being arrested. I tell you, people, if I made a list of everything in the last 31 days that has worked against me on a daily basis, you'd never believe it. It has truly been a test of mental and spiritual fortitude. But, I'm still standing.
  Tomorrow is the first of February, and it's also the first day of the new semester at Studio Theatre. I'll be in Classical Voice and Movement tomorrow night, and then Shakespeare on Tuesday. Because I was so busy with rehearsals for final scenes this month, I had to bow out of my recital. The good news is, I'll get to sing my song on our first class Tuesday. It'll be the first time I've performed it, and it will be a great practice to warm me up for that all-important audition for LAMDA on the 27th. I feel a lot more confident about this piece than I did even a week ago, but I feel like I can definitely make it even better.
  Time only to take a deep breath, and then dive back in.

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