Monday, January 4, 2010

Novocaine to the brain

  It's amazing to me how an emotional distraction can completely unwire your brain.

  Your reaction times slow. Your thinking becomes muddied, dull. Your will drains into the ground through your feet.
  Today is such a day. I prepared a liquid breakfast that I nearly gagged on trying to force into myself. Lunch went largely uneaten. I forgot both of my badges for the office today and had to sign in as a visitor. I left my bag with all my work materials at home. A beautiful sunrise on the way to work felt like a banquet with no taste. Sleep will elude me again tonight. Nobody knows what's going on inside, because I've become very good at putting on a front.
  Despite my struggles with concentration today in the face of difficult decisions in all things work-related, life goes on. Tonight, my scene partner and I are putting up our second scene for the first time. This thing is packed full of heavy drama, passion, and some incredible moments. I'm really excited to be performing it for the group for the first time. I'm a little worried about my focus, but I think I'll be able to apply everything I'm feeling into the character and charge the scene. I think it'll be good.

1 comment:

  1. The problem with bottling up feeling inside and putting up a good front for every one is that people start taking one for granted and eventually forget that the other party is human too.

    It's Ok to throw tantrums and be a lil cranky at times. One cant be up at sunshine 24/7 right? :) So you had a rough day. It'll pass soon InshAllah!